Funny and sarcastic one liners
31 Quotes About Yourself. Image: Created with Dall.E. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.". - Oscar Wilde. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.". - A.A. Milne. "I am a Queen because I know how to govern myself.". - Lailah Gifty Akita.And for more cinematic trivia, don't miss The 30 Worst Movie Endings of All Time. 4. "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." Airplane (1980) — Dr. Rumack ( Leslie Nielsen) responding to "Surely, you can't be serious." And for more fun with language, check out the 50 Puns So Bad They're Actually Funny. 5. "Yeah, but I shoot with this hand."Long Star Wars Jokes. Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, "Use the forks, Luke." Stormtroopers in quarantine are like, "I miss people."
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One liner tags: beauty, love, ugly. 77.87 % / 664 votes. share. You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away. One liner tags: insults, ugly. 77.61 % / 795 votes. share. You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. One liner tags: insults, ugly.1. #23. "At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work. They finally went with mine. "I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said. "No," said the boy.It was only when I bought a motorbike that I found out that adrenaline is brown. One liner tags: mistake, motorcycle, sarcastic. 88.92 % / 1691 votes. share. I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. One liner tags: marriage, mistake, women. 82.48 % / 128 votes. share.It's created the phrases: "I'm not going last in the first round, I'm going first in the second round." "You can just put my card out in the parking lot." (Context: we podcast from a comic book store after it closes and our DM uses cards with our portraits across his screen to show initiative order) HawkingTrend. •.Sarcastic One Liners - Totally hilarious sarcastic one liners. A brilliant Sarcastic Jokes collection of the most funniest and witty one liners and quotes that will leave you Laughing Out Loud. Here are the 80 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm.Jun 20, 2019 - Explore Paige Fong's board "Funny Quotes about stupid people" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny quotes, quotes, funny.Funny one-liners, sexy humor, witty and sarcastic comments involving sex can be found in this category. Semi mature humor in here so go slow and enjoy. Witty One-liners. All of these one-liners are witty, but these are the wittiest sayings. We have two pages of witty remarks, witty expressions and humor quotes. Funny One-liners.College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back. One liner tags: kids, money, sarcastic, school. 80.61 % / 434 votes. share. In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact. One liner tags: communication, school, time. 80.41 % / 193 votes. share.Dry humor is a style of comedy that is characterized by a cynical, ironic, and sarcastic tone. It involves delivering jokes and humorous remarks in a deadpan manner, without showing much emotion or enthusiasm. Dry humor often relies on wit and clever wordplay, using subtle and understated jokes to elicit laughter.India loves puns and one liners. In the fast paced and heady lifestyle of our country, we don't have time to ponder over the most sophisticated of jokes and all that other elitist bull winkle ...The four-time NBA champion roasted Gobert with a funny one-liner in a video posted onto Bleacher Report's account on X (formerly Twitter). Shaq didn't hold back on this Gobert dunk attempt 😅 ...My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!". They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals. Doctor: "I have good and bad news.". Patient: "Give me the good news first.". Doctor: "Your test results are back, and you have only two days to live.".Teenage Jokes One-Liners That Will Make You Laugh and Give You a Chuckle. Teenage life has many challenges, though aside from these challenges, teens are naturally funny, sarcastic, and clever. They have the ability to turn the most mundane of situations into something funny. Such jokes are best shared with friends in person, yet in place of ...Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill." Working at a Hospital is the worst cause you can't call in sick. You: "Yeah, I can't come in today, I'm sick." Boss: "Come on in, we'll check you out."Especially if you struggle to remember the longer jokes. If you like the longer longer jokes, check out our selection of clean golf jokes here, or if you aren't easily offended, our rude golf jokes are here. If you are playing with a golfer who says they never cheat, they're also a liar. ———-. My golf game is a lot like masturbating ...What a better way to make somebody laugh than a well-timed funny one-liner? That's why we've compiled a list of the best single line jokes split into six distinct categories: Short Yet Very Funny; Clever and Witty Pun-liners; People related; Life Situations; Corny and Silly; Animal Related (Great for kids!)1. I am very good at keeping secrets. It is the people I tell them to who cannot. 2. I didn't get your text. Or perhaps my dog ate it again. 3. My grief therapist died the …Explore 33 hilarious introvert quotes and one-liners perfect for the quiet and witty. Get ready for a dose of funny sarcasm! ... we will provide you with some examples of sarcastic quotes that you can use to express your introverted personality in a humorous and lighthearted way. ... One of the reasons why funny introvert quotes are so popular ...To this day, the boy that used to bully me at sFunny One Liners. "Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and If shopping bags slide around in your car's trunk you can purchase a trunk liner or just use a rug pad to keep things from moving around. Household magazine Real Simple's weblog po... Many 60th birthday one-liners talk about the aging process o One-liners on Love. Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts. Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. I am someone else when I’m with you, someone more like myself. “Love goes toward love”. ― William Shakespeare. “To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven”. ― Karen Sunde.Sarcastic one liners. I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, "One day, this could be you." I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right. One liner tags: life, money, sarcastic, time. 94.54 % / 1854 votes. Absolutely hillarious flirty one-liners! The largest collec
Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible. 13. I threw away my can opener. It was more of a can't opener. 14. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician. 15. People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves. 16.Jun 14, 2018 - Here are some funny one-liners. They are witty and they all made me smile. I hope they brighten your day too. Take a break and enjoy them. Jun 14, 2018 - Here are some funny one-liners. ... Here is a list of 150+ Funniest Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings. #Quotes #Sayings #FunniestSarcastic #Sarcastic #SarcasticQuotes. Slogans Hub ...Witty One Liners about Men. “You can’t belay a man who’s falling in love.” ~ Edward Abbey. “An empty man is full of himself.”. “A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn’t want.” ~ William Binger.थोड़ी शरारत हो जाए! ;) 1. अगर किसी लड़की का नाम खुशी हो और वह रो रही हो, तो कोई गंभीरता से नहीं लेगा! क्योंकि लोग सोचेंगे- 'ये खुशी के आंसू ...
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their favorite Chandler Bing one-liners from Friends. Here are some of the best lines from our sarcastic king. 1. That fifth dentist: Warner ...These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at office humor from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to notice life's little absurdities can make even bad days seem a bit cheerier.…
Reader Q&A - also see RECOMMENDED ARTICLES & FAQs. The Big Bang Theory had plenty of iconic one-lin. Possible cause: Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious. One li.
Here are some classic one-liners that golfers have been using for years: “Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.”. “They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.”. “Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.”.One-liners have the uncanny ability to condense a world of humor into a single, potent sentence. In this post, we will traverse the witty lanes and alleyways of humor, bringing you 200 of the best one-liners to tickle your funny bone and brighten up your day. Jump in and start laughing now!The art of sarcastic humor is all about delivering clever quips and playful jabs. In this article, we present a collection of witty one-liners that will entertain and amuse you. Whether you're a fan of sarcasm or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to hit the mark. Read More: Jokes About Knife.
Discover a collection of clever and hilarious witty one liners that will surely bring a smile to your face. Get ready to be entertained with these witty and funny quotes that are perfect for any occasion.I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night. One liner tags: Halloween, political, sarcastic. 74.09 % / 536 votes. My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door. One liner tags: Halloween, kids, money, rude ...A brilliant Sarcastic Jokes collection of the most funniest and witty one liners and quotes that will leave you Laughing Out Loud. Here are the 80 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm.
Sarcastic & funny thank you messages. 98. "Just a generic Dirty one liners. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!" One liner tags: communication, dirty, men, women. 79.76 % / 855 votes. Funny Borat TShirt, Humor Adult Men's Women's Gift T Shirt,Unkind, But Funny "You're So Ugly"Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not Jokes. Water Cooler Chat. Angela Stephanou - Career and Lifestyle Writer. Angela is a passionate freelance writer who enjoys putting a unique spin on topics like career advice, entertainment, translation and health. On top of her experience as a copywriter, editor and proofreader, she has also helped companies recruit, screen CVs and interview ...62. "Half your outfit looks amazing, really!" 63. "Your Instagram makes it seem like you have a happening life!" 64. "I really like how you remind me of the days when I was young and stupid." Hope you enjoyed browsing through this arsenal of sharp-witted, sarcasm-laced jokes, puns, and one-liners. Dirty Pick-Up Lines to Use on Girls Over Text. 76. “Every time you Whether you’re planning a new trip, recovering from one, or justFunny Borat TShirt, Humor Adult Men's Women's Gift T Shirt, Ad Explanation: "Drei"—pronounced "dry"—is German for "three." "Nein"—pronounced "nine"—is German for "No." "Dieser witz stinkt" is German for "This joke stinks ...1. "I always say 'Morning' instead of 'Good Morning,' because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.". 2. "Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It's called balance.". 3. "Face your problems, don't Facebook them.". 4. Check out our collection of funny and sarcastic one liners th I have a hunch, it might be me. One liner tags: attitude, puns, sarcastic, work. 83.27 % / 531 votes. I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver. One liner tags: attitude, car, work. 82.66 % / 708 votes. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. 50. Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams moSarcastic Quotes That You Can Use as Captions. A psychologist Let me disinfect you. Now and again I believed that you are some sort of strong, however now I realize that you are human as well. Get well when possible. Heard you are a bit under the weather - hope the sun starts shining soon. May U get well soon Nd we can go back in to the fun times.55. Life is about balance. 50% namaste. 50% fuck off. Well, funny people, we hope you enjoyed our collection of 55 inappropriate one-liners that had you laughing until your sides hurt. Before we wrap things up, we want to remind you that if you enjoyed these inappropriate one-liner jokes, you're going to love our range of WTF Notebooks!